Posted by: _Hollywood_ on November 22, 2003 at 23:58:16

TO: All Military Personnel SUBJECT: Official Command Visit This office has been informed of an official command visit by Gen. S. Claus on 25 December. The following directives will govern the activities of assigned personnel during this visit: 1. No creatures will stir without official permission. This will include all native mice. Special stirring permits may be obtained from the orderly room. 2. Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to 2200 hours. Uniform for nap will be pajamas, cotton, light drowsing, with kerchief, general purpose. 3. Personnel will utilize standard ration plums, sugar, to dance through their heads. These may be obtained through the orderly room. 4. Stockings, wool, cushion sole, will be hung by chimneys with care. Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fire. Individual sections will submit stocking hanging plans to Capt. Kringle by 0800 hours, 22 December. 5. At first signs of clatter from lawn, all personnel will spring from their beds to investigate and evaluate cause. Immediate action will be taken to tear open shutters and throw open window sashes. 6. Volunteers are needed to drive one sleigh, miniature, and eight (8) deer, rein, tiny, for use of Gen. Claus. Driver must have current roof top license. 7. Gen. Claus will enter all sections through chimneys. Sections without chimneys will draw chimney simulator from Link Services for use during visit. Requests for simulators must be submitted in triplicate prior to 20 December. 8. All personnel will be rehearsed in shouting "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" THis shout will be given upon the termination of Gen. Claus' visit. Uniformity of the shouting is the responsibility of the section chiefs. Ebeneezer Scrooge, Colonel, USAF Commander

Follow Ups: That Hollywood guy is so festive Kerry "V i p e r" Rosenberry 02:18:26 11/25/03 (1) If Gen Clause dont bring me a Vette, I have his >> Old Timers 10:47:27 11/26/03 (0) Post a Followup Show your name as: DefaultRealnameBothNickname E-Mail address (eg: joeschmoe@aol.com): Show your e-mail address? DefaultYesNo Your Password: Don't have a password? CLICK HERE - Forgot your password? CLICK HERE Subject: Subject:Message: : TO: All Military Personnel : SUBJECT: Official Command Visit : This office has been informed of an official command visit by Gen. S. Claus on 25 December. The following directives will govern the activities of assigned personnel during this visit: : 1. No creatures will stir without official permission. This will include all native mice. Special stirring permits may be obtained from the orderly room. : 2. Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to 2200 hours. Uniform for nap will be pajamas, cotton, light drowsing, with kerchief, general purpose. : 3. Personnel will utilize standard ration plums, sugar, to dance through their heads. These may be obtained through the orderly room. : 4. Stockings, wool, cushion sole, will be hung by chimneys with care. Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fire. Individual sections will submit stocking hanging plans to Capt. Kringle by 0800 hours, 22 December. : 5. At first signs of clatter from lawn, all personnel will spring from their beds to investigate and evaluate cause. Immediate action will be taken to tear open shutters and throw open window sashes. : 6. Volunteers are needed to drive one sleigh, miniature, and eight (8) deer, rein, tiny, for use of Gen. Claus. Driver must have current roof top license. : 7. Gen. Claus will enter all sections through chimneys. Sections without chimneys will draw chimney simulator from Link Services for use during visit. Requests for simulators must be submitted in triplicate prior to 20 December. : 8. All personnel will be rehearsed in shouting "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" THis shout will be given upon the termination of Gen. Claus' visit. Uniformity of the shouting is the responsibility of the section chiefs. : Ebeneezer Scrooge, Colonel, USAF : Commander [ Follow Ups ] [ Post Followup ] [ WARPIG Rec Talk ]