Email This Page
Treat a Newbie
by Alan VanToai
I bolt out of the starting ring to the nearest bunker, a mid-size purple/yellow inflatable house, immediately the house starts bouncing around BOOM BOOM BOOM! HOLY CRAP!
My first minute of paintball, and I'm already
wishing I hadn't drank that pre-game Pepsi! I peek my fog filled goggles
out the left side of the house and notice a guy in the back left toting
a Shocker S/F. I raise my totally stock Stingray, and pull the trigger.
GREEN SPLAT! Wait a minute, I'm shooting white… Oh well, I'll just take
credit for it anyway. The guy to my left starts yelling to me, "BLACK-RED
SNAKE, BLACK RED SNAKE!" Chyeah' what a retard, we're indoors! Oh
My first game of paintball was over fast and with much confusion… Naturally, I wanted to act experienced, so I didn't ask any questions. You can expect the majority of 'newbies' to act similarly because they don't want to be singled out as the newbie who asks lots of questions. This fear of being singled out made my first day of paintball a living hell. Nobody talked to me, nobody helped me, and even the ref's didn't call the few people I marked out. If you come upon a newbie with these or similar actions, help him out. Who knows, you might just be keeping the next Bob Long in the sport. In the past, I have seen countless lists about what newbies should do to get better at the sport, but I have never seen a list to the experienced player about how to treat a newbie, so here goes:
1) Treat the new player with the respect that you would any other player, nothing would make them feel more comfortable about paintball than if that one person was nice to them.
2) Make sure that they understand the safety requirements, because nothing is worse than a blind newbie (or a newbie blinding anyone else for that matter).
3) Help them out with their gun. If their barrel comes off, don't tell them that they should make a suicide run because their gun is broken, help them out a bit.
4) Squeegie their barrel if they need it. Don't forget that a new player can eliminate any player, and a straight ball or a curved ball could mean the difference between winning a match or losing one.
5) Answer their questions… TRUTHFULLY. If they ask you if a paintball hurts, don't tell the story about how Uncle Bob got hit in the ribcage with a paintball and nearly died, just say it only stings for a few seconds.
6) Explain things to them in a way they
would understand. "Yeah, I got an RVA on my P68SC and I think that I might
rig her up with some HPA after I buy my KP2…" WHAT!?!?!? Don't expect a
new player to
7) Don't lie. I can't put in writing how angry I was when I grabbed the center-flag and my team was laughing at me for being gullible enough to believe that. It seriously sucks.
8) Help them on the field. If they are in the same bunker as you and they say they want to go some bunker, provide them with some cover fire. Don't just shove them out of the bunker and take their spot.
9) Give the, advice. If they ask you to give them cover-fire to what you know is a death trap, then don't just play along, tell them that another place is better, just try and prevent them from getting themselves eliminated.
Copyright © 1992-2012
Corinthian Media Services. WARPIG's webmasters can be reached through our feedback form.